Relapsing during addiction treatment is difficult for the individual with a substance use disorder as well as those in their support system. Family members, friends, and therapists all know the risk of relapse, but what can be done when it becomes a reality and your drug-addicted family member needs your help?
Ultimately, the individual who relapses must continue to maximize available alcohol, stimulant, or opioid addiction treatment resources and tools. Everyone else in their life and support system must continue to encourage strength and perseverance through the cycle of addiction.
Consequently, extreme care should be taken regarding what to say to someone who relapsed and what not to say to someone who has an addiction causing them to relapse.
What to Say to Someone Who Relapsed
When we experience life challenges, the words of others should help, not hurt. It's hard to know what to say to someone who relapsed. Here are tips and things to say to someone in recovery who is relapsing in their drug addiction.
#1: This Doesn’t Mean You Have Failed.
Relapse is a common part of the drug addiction recovery process. In fact, the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) reports that 40 to 60% of those in recovery experience some form of relapse.
Your loved one may not want to hear statistics specifically, so simply saying that many people relapse before reaching long-term sobriety will let them know they aren’t alone. Reassure your loved one that recovery is a journey, and setbacks are part of every journey.
#2: I Know Your Intent is to Remain Sober.
Your loved one chose to enter opioid addiction treatment with the goal of sobriety. If they were not interested in the benefits of substance abuse treatment, they would have never entered an addiction treatment program in the first place. Recognize this and commend your loved one for starting their treatment journey towards sobriety.
#3: I Am Here to Support You.
Anytime challenges arise, the thought of attacking them alone is frightening. Your loved one will find solace in your physical presence, having your number on speed dial, and knowing they can come to you for empathy and emotional support at any time.
#4: How has this Experience Provided Insight?
Reflection is a key component of learning and growing, even as adults. Ask your loved one questions to encourage turning a challenging time into a learning experience. Be engaged in what they have to say and ask follow-up questions.
#5: What Can I Do Right Now to Help?
Many in substance and alcohol addiction recovery live by the mantra, “one day at a time.” Helping your loved one stay in the present moment could be accomplished simply with a hug, a home-cooked meal, or a leisurely walk. Don’t be afraid to ask, “What can I do to help you feel good at this moment?”
What Not to Say to Someone Who Relapsed
Focusing on what went wrong or what will make it right doesn’t help when someone relapses. Knowing what not to say to someone who has an addiction and relapsing is just as important as what you do say.
#1: You Were Doing So Well. What Happened?
You may be wondering, “What causes a relapse?” Oftentimes, the smallest occurrence or barrier can result in seeking refuge or release.
Instead of worrying about what triggered the drug relapse, be more proactive and know your loved one’s individualized warning signs during the stages of relapse. Speaking up if you observe any signs of relapse will be more helpful to their addiction recovery process.
More importantly, you must remember that addiction is not a choice. Substance use disorder is a medical condition and should be treated as such.
#2: I’m Disappointed in You.
It’s completely natural to feel disappointed, angry, or frustrated because you want your loved one to lead a healthy and quality life. However, for many individuals in active recovery, shame and guilt can be just as toxic as the substance itself. Your loved one is already being hard on themselves, and knowing someone else is angry and blaming them is even more harmful.
Instead, recognize the relapse as a small setback and redirect your loved one to their addiction relapse prevention plan. As for your own anger, expressing it to a therapist or journaling about it will help you feel better and not cause your loved one to feel worse.
#3: Your Approach to Treatment Isn’t Enough.
There are many different approaches to recovery, and your loved one no doubt had some input in their treatment of choice. You may feel that because they relapsed, the treatment “isn’t working” and an alternative approach will be better.
The truth is you really have no say in an individual’s chosen approach to treatment. After all, what will likely work will be in line with your loved one’s personal goals, and that may mean they choose a less aggressive approach that may or may not include alternative therapies, medications, or substance use counseling.
How To Help Someone Who Relapsed with Actions
Sometimes actions speak louder than words. It can be difficult to know what to say to someone who relapsed. If you’re anxious about saying the wrong things, these strategies are proactive, practical, and positive ways for important parts of a person's life to help coping with detox and recovery.
#1: Don’t Talk. Listen.
No one likes to be lectured. Advice is usually not solicited, and therefore is never an end-all solution. The best thing you can do is listen. Be mindful of your facial expressions and body language. Avoid being defensive and just be a listening ear.
#2: Review and Update the Relapse Prevention Plan.
A plan isn’t a plan if it’s not reviewed and revised based on situations that occur during execution. A large majority of treatment programs include the development of a relapse prevention plan.
This plan includes personalized red flags or warning signs your loved one has self-identified. Be familiar with the warning signs and action items your loved one intends to use to stop the snowball towards relapse.
#3: Create Space for Self-Care.
According to Steven M. Melemis, author of Relapse Prevention and the Five Rules of Recovery, recovering individuals tend to be hard on themselves, and self-care is one of the most overlooked aspects of recovery.
Those struggling with a substance use disorder typically take less than they need because they may see it as selfishness. These feelings can lead to exhaustion and resentment which only fuel the temptation to use again. Consider your loved one’s self-care strategies and provide support and encouragement to complete these.
#4: Offer Support in Recovery Meetings
Addiction meetings like AA and NA meetings play a critical role in the addiction recovery process, but can be intimidating for someone new to recovery. Offering to attend drug addiction meetings with them is one of the best ways to get their recovery on track. You can even go to Al Anon meetings to better understand their experience and show you are actively involved in their journey to sobriety.
Finding Help with MATClincs
MATClinics is a group of outpatient medication-assisted treatment centers that utilize behavioral therapy and prescription medication to treat opioid addiction. At MATClinics, with the combined effort of counselors, case managers, and doctors, we work one-on-one with patients to create a unique treatment plan that meets their needs. We are dedicated to the success of your recovery.
To learn more or start your recovery, visit our Suboxone® clinics in Maryland for more information.
Choosing the Right MAT
Choosing the right medication assisted treatment for opioid dependence is a crucial step in the journey to addiction recovery. Brixadi® and Sublocade® are both effective options that can help reduce cravings and withdrawal symptoms, allowing individuals to focus on their recovery. It’s important to remember that medication alone is not a cure for opioid dependence. It is part of a comprehensive treatment plan that may include counseling, support groups, and lifestyle changes.
Working closely with a healthcare provider like MATClinics can increase the chances of a successful recovery. If you or someone you know is struggling with opioid dependence, contact MATClinics for help. Recovery is possible, and with the right support and treatment, a healthier future awaits.